Chris Colfer releasing his inner ninja
god, tony stark and his COMPLICATED BEHAVIORAL REWARDS SYSTEM, OH MAN
okay, i promise that one day i will learn to control the tony feelings, but the thing is, i have been trying to put my finger on this one for such a looooong time. because, see, tony stark is weird about stuff, isn’t he? and i don’t mean like, the existential version of stuff, i don’t mean “stuff” in the most general sense (although, let’s be honest, TONY STARK: WEIRD ABOUT STUFF is true in pretty much every context)—i am talking PHYSICAL stuff, INANIMATE stuff, i am talking stuff that a person can possess. i am talking things. i am talking tony in IM springing a lavish personal plane party on rhodey, clearly both because he felt like it and to prove that he could; i am talking tony in IM2 giving pepper the company out of the blue, clearly both because he knew she was the best choice for CEO (UGH PEPPER I LOVE YOU) and because he genuinely wanted her to have it. i am talking tony at the middle of the avengers offering to fly coulson to portland, i am talking tony at the end of the avengers with plans pulled up to build everyone on the team their own FLOOR—you see what i am saying here. tony stark expresses a considerable amount of emotion through gestures like this, and that in and of itself shouldn’t be enough to give me pause. i mean, canonically extraordinarily wealthy emotionally repressed genius expresses affection with cash? it’s not a stretch. fine. done.
ONLY THE THING IS, it’s…really so much more complicated than that, because there is also the shit in the above gifs, and there’s the thing he has about being handed things (seen in IM2 and in the avengers), and it really came together for me during that scene with bruce and the blueberries. because the thing is that quirks, no matter how random they are, COME from somewhere—even if you don’t remember the impetus of an unusual behavior, you did, at some point, learn to do it/find comfort in it/become dependent on it/get so used to it that you hardly notice it. that’s just how quirks work. and if you’re tony stark, and you put a valuation on everything because that’s been literally your entire life experience, there’s a certain amount of implied cost/benefit analysis that has to go into the way you look at emotional interactions, right?
so look at what this shit says about the way tony looks at himself. people who tony doesn’t completely, 100% trust emotionally (this is why pepper is the exception) can’t even hand him things, because on some level tony associates the exchange of physical goods with the exchange of emotional response, and he won’t be capable of giving it; people who have showed tony affection or friendship deserve these lavish, over-the-top gifts, because putting up with tony is such a struggle. and tony himself? well, for surviving a kidnapping and the insertion of car battery, and then an arc reactor, in his chest, he has earned an american cheeseburger. for fighting off an invading army and making the sacrifice move neither he nor steve believed he would, he has earned himself some shawarma. because that is totally what he’s doing, when you really think about it—tony stark doles out physical rewards for behavior, without even noticing it, and the best he ever honestly thinks he deserves is something delicious when the carnage is over.
and this is what makes that blueberry scene with bruce (shut up i know calling it the blueberry scene is ridiculous, I KNOW IT IS IN FACT A SCENE ABOUT THE AVENGERS NOT TRUSTING NICK FURY, i can’t help that i look at the world through stark-tinted glasses) so interesting, in that it’s that behavior-reward system on a much smaller scale. first bruce is offered the blueberries, clearly as a reward for making a point that supported tony’s argument; then steve, clearly as a TEST, is offered those same blueberries along with tony’s admitting to hacking the SHIELD system. and it’s when steve doesn’t even acknowledge the offer that tony goes from “hey look I’m trying to explain this to you and get you onboard” to “who’s in a spangly outfit and not of use?” because he’s got all these emotional cues tangled up with all these physical ones and always has, and because on some level this is just how he does relating to human beings, because stuff is so much easier and everything always has a price and just, augh, tony.
Thisssss.
Also, notice that every time we see Tony with food in the MCU there is some emotional tie to it. He rewards himself with food (cheeseburger, donuts, shawarma) after traumatic experiences; he brings Pepper strawberries when he attempts to confess his feelings; he offers Bruce and Steve blueberries when courting their allegiance/friendship. Also I think it’s HUGELY telling that he invites all the Avengers along for shawarma instead of wandering off to get it alone. Tony’s big on the grand gestures, sure, but when he’s trying to make a big emotional play? he does it with food.
Hmm. Does alcohol count as food, then? This makes his offering Loki a drink much more interesting, instead of just amusing.
“Tony Stark,” he says, and pauses, giving Tony a second or two not to run away screaming. “Will you. Do me the honour. Of becoming my husband?”
“Yep,” Tony blurts, and his knees hit the floor as he drags Steve in for a kiss.
From my fic.
I literally started crying in the cinema at this because seriously fuck you, Steve. There are so many people going ~SEXUAL TENSION~. But no. No. This is just cruel. And tony’s comebacks are in no way even close to being as mean; for tony they’re rather weak and stumbly. Because do you see his face there? Steve just fucking ripped him to shreds. And i’m crying now; this just breaks my heart. You’ve seen the footage, Steve? Really? Have you really? You’ve seen him as he watched kids being killed by his own weapons? You’ve seen him being tortured? You’ve seen the only person who believed in him as a person die in front of him? Do you actually get that there is a fucking hole in his chest? That the fact that he’s even alive is a fucking miracle like a hundred times over. One which he’s clawed into existence with his own hands and genius. You’ve seen the closest person he had to a father literally rip his heart from his chest? You’ve seen how he then had to kill that closest person he had to a father? You’ve seen how he was dying all alone and yet STILL attempted to save everyone around him? WITHOUT HIS SUIT Oh yeah you’ve seen the fucking footage haven’t you? I don’t think you get, Steve how much you can’t take those words back. Years from now they’re still going to be rattling around in tony’s head echoing every crappy thought he’s ever had about himself. It just makes me so mad. I love you Steve, but nothing justifies what you said to him. Nothing.All of this. This is the reason why I haven’t reblogged this gif set in particular because Steve’s completely stepping out of line here. I gasped in the movie theater when this exchange happened. I desperately wanted Steve to take those words back. Yes, they eventually mutually respect one another towards the end, but look at Tony’s eyes after this. The tightening of his jaw. He wants to say something—to defend himself, but he won’t. He has never seen himself as the hero. Not like Steve is. So why should he defend himself? He’s just a man who you can buy in tens right, Steve? In Howard’s mind, Steve could do no wrong. Steve was the better man—the best man Howard has ever known. It was never Tony. Remember that throwaway line Tony gave to Bruce? How his father wouldn’t shut up about Steve? I’m not certain Howard said anything along the lines of “You’ll never be as great as Steve Rogers.” to Tony, but how much his father praised Steve, it obviously hurt his ego. However, I’m happy that both could see how well they could balance each other out in the end. Steve’s idealism is something that Tony admires, but it’s also something he needs to keep in check with his realism. While Tony’s craving for acceptance is something that Steve gives on instinct. I’d like to point out the scene when the engine was pretty much shot. Both fell to the ground, and what did Steve do? He picked up Tony first. They were fighting not two seconds ago, and Steve’s still helping this man. Tony realizes this, swats his hand away at first, but Steve presses on. He grabs Tony’s elbow again and pulls him up. I just hope that Steve understands how much his opinion of Tony will matter in the future.
I can’t. I just can’t…
Everything justifies what Steve said to Tony. EVERYTHING. He will never have to take those words back. There’s nothing TO take back.
At this stage in the game, Tony Stark fights for himself. In Iron Man, he starts off as a hedonistic playboy, who after a traumatic mid-life crisis, builds himself a big suit of armor; so that he can go destroy HIS weapons (which are only the psychical manifestations of his self-hate and “issues”). In Iron Man 2, his ego’s gone nuts, he’s dying, and he’s only fighting to preserve the Stark Legacy.
It isn’t until Steve CALLS HIM OUT ON ALL OF THIS that he even THINKS about playing the sacrifice play. Ready for the truth? Tony Stark doesn’t become a hero until he meets Steve Rogers and joins the Avengers. They are his redemption. They are his absolution. They are who make him a better man. (And I have sixty years of Marvel back issues, I can show you to prove it.)
So don’t give me that bullshit about ‘poor woobie Tony Stark.’ He needs to hear EVERYTHING coming out Steve’s mouth. You’re right: these words are going to ring in Tony’s eyes for the rest of his life. Good. That’s what he needs.
MOREOVER
Why does everyone chose to ignore that STEVE JUST WOKE UP FROM WORLD WAR II THREE WEEKS AGO.
Three weeks ago he watched the only man who ever believed in him die before his eyes. Because he couldn’t save him. He lived and survived in the trenches of war. He watched soldiers die every day.
He crashed a plane into the Arctic Circle to stop a bomb from going off in heart of New York City. Steve’s cellar structure has a built in regeneration factor. I wouldn’t be surprised if he survived the crash and then survived another few days in the Arctic. Alone. Freezing to death. Starving to death. That’s not a quick and easy death. He died in agony.
Then ‘SHIELD’ wakes him up and tells him seventy years have passed. (But not before trying an INCREDIBLY CREEPY AND MANIPULATIVE TRICK to ‘ease him into the transition’.)
Everyone he loved is dead. Everything he knew as fact is history. Steve Rogers has a reason to be pissed. He has a reason to be unimpressed. It just KILLS me that NO ONE CARES because “oooh, he’s such a big meanie, he hurt Tony’s feelings.”
